(Source: iska-ithil, via trashylittlefuck)
I’ve moved out of my apartment on the word I’d move into my ex’s parent’s house, under the word that I’d pay less than normal rent. I paid for two months then got kicked out for not being there. My nan passed and while my grief and desire to help my family threw me into not coming home, during this time my ex decided to bitch about me and let ny dog run wild. I left and moved in with a couple I barely know and two friends who do nothing all day. I’ve broken up with the ex and am now just trying to get by. I’ve been going broke since I moved here and just this past weekend, had to travel back to Florida again. This was the third time in three months. This time was to get my other dog who I left to a family who couldn’t handle her. He told me he wants me to carw for her and taje gwr back once he gets back feon deployment.
I feel as though my life is meaningless. I do everything for anyone that asks for help, yet I receive nothing in return. I am given no breaks and am waiting on his every word. Does his pride prevent him from admitting he wants me? Am I delusional for thinking my marriage may not be over? Am I always going to be used by everyone? Am I nothing more than the friend who has money? I’m the girl who moved her life for a man 5 times. I have no awards to show for my accomplishments and have my belongings stuffed into boxes.
i have nothing to show for. I have nothing to be proud of.
i feel useless.
holy shit thats a sick tattoo
(Source: xfasatx, via fuckyeahgirlswithtattoos)
i want to have this finished already ahaha…
maybe later this week..
I’m back woo
Japanese horror inspired freehand tattoo. Artist Paul Acker. Done at Best in the midwest tattoo convention. This tattoo won best in show of all three days!
I’ve been in Texas for a month.
Why do I feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake?
KATERINA MIKKY VOLKOVA
Katerina Mikky Facebook
Phone: (+7) 8 916 5139043
(Source: tattrx, via fuckyeahtattoos)
I’ve moved from FL to TX over the course of about 4 days. I spent the first two driving (with my bff who flew out to be with me) here, and am now living in a small apartment with my… boyfriend? Friend? I don’t even know what to call him right now.
I’ve seen a few family members and friends. And they all look at me the same way when they ask and I tell them about my husband. I left him. They look at me with a bit of pity and sadness. Do not feel sorry for me, I want to say. But it’s just one way that I show it still hurts me. I don’t want to show them that I feel regret for leaving. I love my husband, I do, but I can never feel the same as I did before. I will never be able to fully forgive him. HE cheated on me. HE threw our marriage away because HE couldn’t act like an adult. I drove myself into thousands of dollars in debt for him - for us - and now when he saw that I could no longer afford to do it by myself, and he had to take on the load as well, he ‘got tired’ of it. He realized he was going to be in debt too. I got a car, credit cards, all of it for him - because he couldn’t do it. I got us an apartment with my good credit, I got us dogs to love and be loved on, I got us friends to hang out with and have a good time without having to spend money. And he threw it away because he couldn’t forgive me for miscarrying his child. Because I got fat and depressed over our loss. Because I wasn’t the same 18 year old girl he met four freaking years ago. And to get out of his resentment over me, he fucked another married (and equally desperate) woman, got a brand new car for her, and left me on my own devices. I told him I’d do anything to keep him, and when he told me what to do, I did it. I did it all. And I got nothing but “kk” from him. So fuck it. I’ll fucking do me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make me happy and I won’t wait for you to ‘get around’ to loving me again. I am NOT your goddamn dog. I will NOT wait for your relationship with a home-wrecker to end and pick up the pieces of our marriage. I DON’T give a shit about whether or not you lose your standing in the military. What I figure is, you got yourself into this mess. Fucking deal with it. I’m not going to feel sorry for you. Give me what I deserve, what I’m entitled to, and go on with your life. I’ll see you in a year when I come back to file divorce papers. Have fun with your alcoholic lifestyle, spend all your money on booze and unnecessary expenses on your girlfriend. I hope the ship stays at sea for so long you get sea sick every day. I hope you run out of fuel and are stranded in standing water. I hope you fucking realize you ruined your life because you’re an idiot.
I want someone better to be my husband. It sure as hell isn’t you.
Don’t fucking pity me.
He’s sad I’m leaving. Apparently the sight of all my belongings packed into boxes made him sad enough to call me, almost near tears, when I was at work. Thankfully I was on a break and could calm him down. It made me sad, as well. Knowing that even though he and I are far from over, it still hurts to see him go. Though I am the one leaving now, he is still going out to sea… He may have that woman to help him on board, but I don’t know if he will regard her as his ‘home.’ He has no one to come back to, no home to come back to. No one who has ever been on any kind of deployment has liked not having something to come back to. I feel bad for him. He’s ruined a good part of his life and now has to deal with unhappy consequences. It sucks to be him.
On the other hand, as much as it still pains me to leave, I am so goddamned excited to see my best friend of the past 10 years again. And to be coming back to dozens of friends and family members with open arms. I even have someone that will be willing to do anything for me, including help me heal with the end of my marriage as I know it. If I was religious, I’d thank the powers that be that I am blessed. But for now I’ll be thankful for the awesome people that care about me and respect me as a real person, instead of regarding me as just someone that lives with them.
I know I’ll have so many opportunities waiting for me to jump on them in TX, and I am so ready to get started on my life. No more pushing it away and making excuses. I’m ready world. Bring it on.
Do you have a friend who’s usually a sweetheart but when they’re angry they’re the creepiest and the most cruel motherfucker you ever saw in your whole life?
I am that friend
(Source: koujakuebooks, via twili-princess)